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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 10, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EST

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tonight's closing argument. it's definitely not a bird. it might have been a plane but whatever it was, it had the military scrambling today to explain where this trail of vapor 35 miles off the los angeles coast came from. still, after a day of statement, no one, not the pentagon, not the faa, and not norad, the organization in charge of missile defense was able to state simply what it was. so, tonight, we ask you, airplane, amateur missile. secret military test or close encounter of the first kind. what was that thing? tell us what you think on the "nightline" page on abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. it's "jimmy kimmy live" fantasy league. many i'm jimmy kimmel and cousin
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sal. great matchups. jimmy kimmel returns to the winner's circle. >> kimmel is the best, i absolutely love him. meanwhile bill simmens defeats kristin bell. and adam carolla keeps his playoff hope as live. >> and once red hot william "the refrigerator" perry stace ice cold with a loss to joel mchale. but isn't the only one with pig skin credentials. >> i was 0 top on the captain. >> call me captain, i was captain of the crunch. >> you're a quarterback. >> no. >> what did you play? >> what did you play? >> i played the clarinet.
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>> in the band. without that, there would be no spirit. so in a way, i was more important than the players to the team. >> wow. >> jimmy's a nerd. >> jimmy: you know i can hear that, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: check out next week's matchup on the jimmy kimmel live youtube page. >> imfae jimmy kimmel i'm cousin sal. to follow the action go to youtube channel and click on fantasy league. "jimmy kimmel live"! back in two minutes. with kate walsh. and "dancing with the stars" kurt warner.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight from "private practice" kate walsh guillermo at the "call of duty: black ops" party with metallica and from "dancing with the stars" kurt warner with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> jimmy: hi, everyone, i'm jimmy. thank you for watching, thank you for being here. thank you for applauding with your hands. i have a lot to tell you tonight. good thing i have a show. we'll start with the shocking event on "dancing with the stars." once again, bristol palin, despite the fact again she had the lowest score lives to dance another week and instead quarterback kurt warner finds himself to be the latest moose in the palin crosshairs. who knew bristol palin was the most popular person on television. what if she win this thing. how afraid could america possibly be of her mother? i'm sure she's a nice kid. but the show is called, danci"dg with the stars". she can't dance and she's not a star. the only part that applies to
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her is "with the." somehow she made it to the top four. i never thought a dancing competition would have me question whether or not i live in a democracy. this is bad news for todd palin, but now he's going to be short handed around the jerky shop. aus know it's caribou curing season. we're a week away from national unfriend day. it's a day i encourage all facebook users to what they call friends and decide who you are friends with and more importantly who you are not. wednesday, anyone who isn't really your friend, you unfriend which i bet is probably most of the people on the list. you know the guy you met at your wife's office christmas party and you talk about how much you liked "mad men." of course you don't. why is he your friend on
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facebook? that's what national unfriend day is about. cutting back on pretend friends to maybe focus on the real ones, or, i don't know, maybe work or something. this is a face book page that belongs to a woman byorg. she is from orange county but originally from iceland, her profile picture is a strawberry cake. that's reason enough to unfriend someone. this is one of her status updates. she said, i think my son is taking this slow food movement too seriously. took nearly 1.5 hours to finish three quarters of a medium slice of veggie pizza. unfriend byorg and her slow food vegetarian son. these are people who should have no friends. mark it down. november 17th. national unfriend day. it's going -- a lost momentum. this morning i hear the justice
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league unfriend maryland aqua man wh which is long overdue. did you see conan o'brien last night? really? you don't have to be mad about t. last night cone enreturned to television. and beat jay leno. it's early on. and first ratings don't mean a lot. >> seems jay might be getting nervous. >> the guy can't win. he's already been two days. already republicans are accusing him of being a hindu. >> he might be a hindu. >> jimmy: obama won a trip on wheel of fortune. he spent part of his childhood in indonesia. he's known as barry obama. he's digging up childhood friends. one said he was chubby and ran like a duck. which proves he's not kenyan,
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that's as american as it gets. unfortunately the president is going to have to leave indonesia as earlier than expected. who can't visit the friend who sid she's chubby and ran like a duck. he also won't be able to visit this kid. that's the famous indonesian smoking baby. he's chubby and runs like a duck too. he smokes like a -- we could be looking at our future president right there. but i will say -- i have some videos to report about the smoking baby. they sent the smoking baby to a special program. he has kicked the habit. he doesn't smoke anymore. he's still driving drunk, his family said it's not possible with the flint stone's patch. >> here's a story from the today
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show. >> the government said 25% of children over the age of 3 tried cigarettes. even after treatment he struggles since kicking the habit. he has gained pounds and hasn't lost his cravings. >> at least he's happy and is exercising. former president bush is on oprah. it was the annual least favorite things episode. oprah a big obama supporter. she and president bush hit it off well. they had fun waterboarding stedman. mat lawyer interviewed the former president. bush told the story about a scary sounding threat inside the white house. >> they said the bio detecters have gone on. we think there's a botchilism attack at the white house. we had all been exposed to it. had we inhaled it we could
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easily be dead. the reason i tell the story, after 9/11 we were inundated with threats. >> inundated is a combination of inundated and funion. i miss having a funny president. he asked bush would he still invade iraq know whag he knows now. it's unclear president bush does know what he knows now and another topic they hit on is the low profile the president han been keeping for the last two years. >> mr. president you've remained mostly silent, largely silent over the last couple of years. why did you remain silent.
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i'm matt lauer. for all of us at nbc news, good night. >> jimmy: it's his right to remain silent. laugh all you want, but i tell you what, you try staring into those dreamy matt lauer eyes and not saying anything. after his success with iron man. robert downey jr. is step nothing a role of another iconic character, mr. peanut. it's a new plantser's peanut commercial. . mr. peanut has not spoken since 1916. i guess he doesn't have much to stai say being a peanut. downey won the part after several high profile celebrities auditioned. some audition tapes were released online today.
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look at this. >> mel gibson, tape one. i don't understand you, you're sucks because [ bleep ] you're a mentally depressed idiot. >> snooki, take one. >> i had an epiphany today. i took the poof down, the most amazing thing i've ever done. >> christian bale, take one. >> i am on your [ bleep ] set and [ bleep ] you walking right through. >> i'm like this -- what the [ bleep ] is it with you. >> oh, good for you. and how was it? i hope it was [ bleep ] good. because it's useless now, isnn it? >> it's strange the dialogue would be the name as the sticks they made. >> jimmy: this is odd. a town in sprain named the game
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after video games. they named it after avenue super mario brothers. don't bring your girlfriend there. a lot of ape-related kidnappings. seems worn to me. but they're foreigner, they are born weird. here's a story. >> a unique street game. super mario brother misavenue. they are the first to name their street after the video game. other of streets are set to be name for sonic the hedgehog, space invader, frogger was forced to close after a high incidence of traffic fatalities. >> jimmy: that looks like the street outside our theater. you know? and, i know, i know. one more thing. back to national unfriend day for a moment, the best toll
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hollidays i i think have great songs. christmas has a lot of songs, halloween has songs, fourth of july has h songs. we thought national unfriend day has a song too. we called the byes from war to record one of their songs, something to sing on to this national unfriend day. ♪ ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ when i accepted your friend request ♪ ♪ i didn't know you'd be such a pest ♪ ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend
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♪ don't ask me if i will play farmville ♪ ♪ these are imaginary animals ♪ why can't be unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ you post your pictures of your favorite shoes ♪ ♪ i like to jam them up your underroos ♪ ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ you asked me if i'm a justin bieber fan ♪ ♪ i wouldn't wish you on the taliban ♪ ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfriend you tell
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me everything that's on your bra ♪ ♪ i'd like to kick your genitalia ♪ ♪ why can't we unfriend ♪ why can't we unfreiend ♪ >> i got to go post about this. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you p. guillermo meets metallica. and from dancing with the star, newly castoff kurt warner will be here and we'll be right back with kate walsh. stick around.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. with us tonight, the newest dancing star to get voted off "dancing with the stars," kurt
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warner is here. once again, bristol palin dodges a bullet. when your mother hunts, you get good at that, i guess. also, tonight, the new game "call of duty: black ops" came out today. metallica performed at the premiere party and tonight, we will bear witness to the historic summit between metallica and guillermo tomorrow i always knew this would happen someday, guillermo. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: did you get to talk to the guys at all about mustaches and stuff? >> guillermo: no. i just tell them you guys a good band. >> jimmy: i'm sure they appreciated that. >> jimmy: tomorrow night, chris pine, danica patrick and music from blake shelton, then on thursday, harrison ford, gary dell'abate, and edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. please join us. our first guest heals the sick every thursday night on "private practice" and now brings scent to the scent-less with a new fragrance called "boyfriend." it
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launches thursday on the home shopping network. please welcome kate walsh. >> you look great. >> jimmy: thank you. you look better. it's great to see you. you look amazing. ? 1234 why do you say that? >> you just look really fan-freakin'-taftic. 1234i6' been throwing up a lot. >> i had the stomach flu. i admire you, i was thinking, holy cow -- >> jimmy: thanks very much. that's nice of you to say. congratulations -- i understand there's an actual human boyfriend ground up in every bottle.
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is that true? >> that is my hook. yes. capitalize many. >> jimmy: i'm fascinating by getting a fragrance of your own. i think it's kind of like a big deal to be asked to have this, right? >> you can't just go to the corner and sign up. i tried but it did not work. >> jimmy: this was your idea, this boyfriend thing? >> a while back, i broke up with a boyfriend while in new york. i missed his clone, i missed his cent. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did. this is really embar acing to tell you. so what happened was -- so, jimmy, i'm sure you've been there, and -- >> jimmy: yeah, i had a guy once, he -- >> so, we try to get this out laughing -- i'm blushing on the copious amounts of makeup. there's blush -- >> jimmy: maybe a blush -- >> who nose, i'm going sell everything. >> jimmy: so you broke up with
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this guy. i decided to go get a men's fragrance. >> no, i will replace him. number one, moral of the story. and i went and got a men's fragrance. i didn't have to have a boyfriend to be -- i thought boyfriend. wouldn't that be great? every girl should have a boyfriend. i kept thinking about t. i didn't want to do -- everybody has a fragrance. i couldn't stop thinking about the story of it and how creative it could be. >> jimmy: this is not for a man to wear. >> no, it's not. you could if you wanted. >> jimmy: we could. but then the boyfriend will have a boyfriend. >> we have a vicious circle of boy frensd and a dance routine. >> jimmy: does this mel like the boyfriend you broke up with? >> every bottle has a piece of him. >> jimmy: does he know about this, by the way?
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>> that's pretty flattering. this is like stalker -- >> jimmy: liquid stalker, you can do it too. >> jimmy: and you have the names -- what are the napes on the bottle? >> the names, some of them are names, some of them are cats. just to add to the craziness. >> jimmy: is michael a person or a cat? >> michael is a person, i don't know -- there's bill -- there's billy, and a cat. >> jimmy: i notice regis is in here. that seems surprising. >> yeah, yeah. no, there's -- there's kevin, there's rob. those are humans. that i know. >> jimmy: these are actually based on your life. this is kind of sad, really, it's really like -- i'm glad it's not bigger, that would not be good. like a big gallon jug of
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ex-boyfriends. >> that would be -- >> jimmy: and you got a whole little -- it's a kid that comes with it. boyfriend kit. >> jimmy: a post-it net that says -- see you tonight, wear the red dress. is that for him? >> that's my fictional boyfriend. >> jimmy: bf. that's not brett favre, is it? he has had enough trouble. >> you weren't supposed to say that. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. we've seen plenty from him. and then you're going to sell this on the home shopping network. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that something you're looking forward to? >> i am. it's not my first go around with home shopping. a long time ago, when i was an upand coming actor, i tempt ped, and one of my assignments, you goft to go to south loop. hsn corporation. i was like, fine. it's another place for me to read my book. i got there. and there's all these tvs on
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with the home shopping network. i did not make the connection at all. and i was like, oh, my god, all these tvs. i'm like click, click, click, click. 1234u turned them off? >> i turn them all offer. and i was also administrative assistant to the president. that was my temple job. i turn the tvs off, open up the book and start reading. no one likes a temp that reads, turns out. even though we all do. >> jimmy: did you get scolded? did you get fireed? they are like, why are all the tvs on. >> i'm like h-it's home shopping network. they're like, this is hsn corporation. ho homeshopping network. >> jimmy: in that case i'll order some things up. >> my mother was excited. she was like, finally, you got a real job at the home shopping network. she was excited. >> jimmy: joan rivers makes 08
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billion dollars a year selling stuff on this network. >> i read that. >> jimmy: so that's going be all right for you. do you know about national unfriend day? >> i heard of it. >> jimmy: would you mention it on home shopping network? >> tell me what want me to say, i'll write it on a bottle. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. to say these people are not your friends. i know you have a facebook page. you have like 11,000 friends. more than 11,000 friends. >> yep. we meet for dinner. >> jimmy: these are not your friends, you are aware of that. the term is incredit. >> there was for a while. there were a couple people pretending -- they open their own facebook -- >> jimmy: yes, you have to get them thrown off and squat your own page. once you do you then have a facebook page which i don't want. >> count want it? you're try took eradicate it all together? >> jimmy: i'm not trying to kill
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facebook. for instance, you have a wedding, you invite friends and family to the wedding. anyone else they should not be your friends. what i'm asking you to cut out at least 10,000 of your friends on november 17th. would you consider that? how about this -- get rid of anyone who doesn't buy your new fragrance. >> good. >> jimmy: there you go, that's the way to go. >> good. >> jimmy: thank you, a appreciate that. how is everything on private practice? >> private practice is better than ever. we've having a great time. i'm on the show. it's -- >> jimmy: would you consider him a friend? >> that's a tough call. we're really -- yes, i would. i would not unfriendship. >> jimmy: is he a facebook friend? >> that's not to say he's going to buy my perfume. this is a slippery slope. >> jimmy: odds are he won't
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purchase the perfume. >> i made everyone in the task they're all getting boyfriends. >> jimmy: will you bring truck loads of this and everyone will smell the same? >> this is -- christmas, easter, everyone is getting this. this is the gift forever. >> jimmy: if oprah comes up with her new fragrance. at horp. it's like if you worked in a meat factory. >> good to see you. >> good to see kate walsh. boyfriend. a big thursday. that s back. danci"dancing with the stars," warner.
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>> jimmy: we're back, still to come, guillermo meets metallica. your next guest is a super bowl champion and two-time nfl mvp. if i was him, i wouldn't care about celebrity dancing but i think he does. tonight, he was removed from 'dancing with the stars' in yet another controversial decision. joined by his dance partner anna trebunskaya, please welcome kurt warner.
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>> jimmy: anna, did i pronounce your name correctly? it's >> jimmy: how are you feeling right now? >> i'm doink good. >> i think he's happy he can finally get to sleep and see his family. >> jimmy: really? >> you were retire from football to spend time with your family. and then spent time with your family and said i better do some dancing. >> my wife sent me out to do the dancing. >> jimmy: this is her idea. get out and dance. honestly, it has got to be a weird transition for the family, they're used to you being out working, at least eight months out of the year n-you're out.
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there you are, morning, noon and night. >> it's a little overwhelming for them. looking at things in the house and commenting on things in their domain. it's disconcerting. >> now i'm wearing deconvince and bright colored shirts. crazy household we got going there. >> jimmy: in a way, this remeans me in a way of the super bowl. only instead of the steelers, were you stopped by bristol palin. >> all comes back to losing something. doesn't it? >> jimmy: anna, wasn't to ask you, you are an expert. you know about dancing. do you think bristol palin should be in the top four? >> pressure. >> pressure. you di grt, were anying better w w er,urt or jerry ce >> jimmy: well, you could lie. >> oh, yeah.
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you were absolutely much better. >> jimmy: he was the best. how about that? congratulations. >> that's great. you're russian. you must be able to lie better than that. >> jimmy: what do you have to say to the million of fans that you disappointed. she is russian. >> we're very honest people. very honest people. >> too honest. >> jimmy: we have russians yelling in the audience. you're loud, too. but, you guys, i thought you guys did very well. i have to say, i wound up betting. i bet every year. i wound up betting on jennifer grey. thank god but i almost bet on you. i almost bet on you. i'm glad i didn't -- >> we were very comparable in nr dancing with be. i know you're a great quarterback. i know people would like you when they saw you. that's the kind of combination.
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as anna said it isn't necessarily about the dancing as we've now witnessed six weeks in e gets eliminated. usually that's the case but it's lowest score is the one that not the case anymore. it's something weird going on with "dancing with the stars." is there a tea party conspiracy? >> i can't answer that. >> jimmy: let's ask the russian, she's honest. >> she's very honest. you got yourself into that one. >> jimmy: anna, have you ever seen kurt play football? >> on youtube. >> jimmy: on youtube. >> yes. >> jimmy: did you understand what was going on? >> the youtube i saw, he got run over by a huge guy, de a full furnace and landed straight on his back. >> jimmy: great, you work thatd into your routine? >> we don't do lifts. >> jimmy: kurt, you actually met your wife dancing, i know. >> not quite like this dancing. we actually met in a country
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bar, two-stepping d l>> jmy: th different thing. p whole different thing. >> jimmy: especially different apparel. no sequenuiat was the prerequis. she was going to learn to dance after i learned to dance. she looked at me and said we're never going to dance again are we? i'm afraid it's going to take a while before i get out and dance. but she's still hoping i can lead her around the dance floor, maybe once or twice. maybe one of our daughter's weddings. >> jimmy: you have seven kids. that would be enough if they're voting as many times as allowed to get you in. >> i think mom put them to bed too early. i'm blamingining her.
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>> jimmy: now on monday night. you are now dancing instead of playing football. that seems wrong to me. >> it seems wrong to me too. >> jimmy: it is wrong. >> something is wrong with that. >> jimmy: have you been watching the card navals and saying, i can get in there and help that's guys if i can get the spangled clothing off. >> i everybody watching them. still bulddy on the team. still a friend with the coach. i feel for them. had no desire to go back and play. she showed the last hit i took. i don't miss that at all. i see the things happening. helmet-to-helmet hits. i got out at the right time. i can still dance. my knees are still good. so -- >> jimmy: not according to america, you can't. >> good point. good point. [ applause ] >> jimmy: does it like -- you don't seem like you're that bothered about getting eliminated. some of these guys get crazy competitive. did you get that -- i know
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obviously you're a competitive guy, you're a football player. did you have that? >> not so much. i came into this competition, i wasn't in it to win it. if we would have won, it would have been great. >> you really want that shiny round thing in your living room. >> it would fit p nice in my living room. >> you have to realize there's jennifer greys h-brandy, that has a musical background. i was never going to be the best dancer in the competition. you don't go napd say i'm going to win this. you go in and do this to build relationships, show people another side of you. to me that's what it was about. we weren't all on even playing fields. if we all came in on the same level, i would have wanted to win is it. 12348 . >> jimmy: you should make brandy throw a football through a tire.
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>> thee three h things, throw a football threw a tire. and then dance. i might still be on the show. 1234i78' sorry it didn't work out. but it seems urge' okay with that. anna, congratulations betting a partner who didn't care whether he won or not. there's a tradition around here. since you won't be using dancing shoes, maybe occasionallyality a wedding. let's go outside -- burn those things. now your shoes. guillermo has spoken. your dance card has been punched. >> jimmy: watch 'dancing with the stars' mondays at 8:00 and tuesdays at 9:00 here on abc. coming up, guillermo at the "call of duty: black ops" premiere party.
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>> dicky: if you're going to be in the l-a area and want to see the show, call 8-6-6 jimmy tix or go to "jimmykimmellive.com." get call of duty black ops at
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>> jimmy: welcome back. perhaps the most anticipated release of any kind -- music, movies, dance recitals -- this year is this new game , "call of duty: black ops." there was a huge launch party here in los angeles to unveil the game and to raise money for the call of duty endowment -- a charity that helps find jobs for veterans -- and, unless you were in the military or metallica, it was very tough to get in -- but that did not stop our little pal guillermo, who was on the scene for "call of duty: black ops." >> guillermo: hi, i'm guillermo. i'm here for the call of duty black ops event. the biggest video game party
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ever. metallica is here, i'm going inside. >> you're not going inside. >> guillermo: okay. think, guillermo, think. >> excuse me, roady, coming through. >> oh, sorry. >> guillermo: hola! >> who are you? >> i'm the new guy. >> i don't recognize you, man. >> i'm new. >> no doubt. >> guillermo: sound good, huh? wait, no, no, no, no. much oh, i got a better idea. >> hello, sir, may i help you? >> guillermo: i'm kobe bryant, the basketball player. >> and who are you?
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>> guillermo: i'm his belly. >> oh, no, what am i going to do? >> that's it. the military! >> guillermo: hello, may i help you, sir. >> si. i am part of the 101st infantry. >> i salute you, please enjoy. >> guillermo: thank you, sir. ♪ >> guillermo: wow, amazing. this is great. call of duty black ops. this game is great. ♪ hey, kobe, how you get in? sorry, sorry. hey, what is this for? >> great party. helping out the call of duty endo youment.
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>> it's all about finding vet traps' jobs when they return from service. you're very brave. >> thank you. i got to go outside. ♪ >> god bless you! >> guillermo: my call of duty is done. over and out. >> jimmy: very nicely done, guillermo. we'll be right back.
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